New Year's Resolution: The 2012 Version

Now, that it's officially 2012, I've decided to make 12 New Year's resolutions. Got to love these annual traditions! Here goes:

1. Manage my time better. I can always watch River Cottage and the Big Bang Theory after I do my readings! 
2. Exercise for at least 30 minutes a day. My bum will thank me later once I can fit into my pants again. 
3. Enjoy sleeping in as much as possible. Once I go back to the working world, it'll just be but a distant memory. 
4. Keep in touch with my good friends at least once a month. The longer I keep living overseas, the more this becomes important. Or just go visit them in person. Russia isn't that far away!
5. Stop repeating the same mistakes. One day, I'll actually learn! Or I just need to start shock therapy. 
6. Stop talking to idiots because they will never change. Once a fence sitter, always a fence sitter. 
7. Learn to knit a beanie. I've spent all last month trying to look for a red beanie to no avail! If I make my own, then I can't complain anymore. 
8. Drink less. The UK hasn't been good to my liver. 
9. No more Converses! It's no longer the grown-up shoe. 
10. Crash an Olympic event. Hmmm... Compromise... Go attempt to be as close to an Olympic event a possible, preferably gymnastics. They can do cool flips! Or swimming. Guys in Speedos who should be wearing Speedos... =P
11. Start celebrating my freedom at exactly 9:46a on Friday, 14 September. I already got a party planned!
12. Find me one of those little things called a job. With the economy the way it is, I'll take anything. (Well, almost anything. Starbucks for sure. McDonald's maybe not.) Hopefully, anything where I can apply this Master's degree I'm attempting to get.

Wishing everyone a good start to the year! =)

Out with the Old, In with the New

2010... The year that was. A lot of good and a lot of bad happened, but I think at the end, I gained more than I lost. And with that, here are my New Year's resolutions for 2011:

1. The big goal for the year is to find something careerwise that will make me happy. Ok, I may be asking for much with the economy being the way it is now , but if I have to go back to school to get to this point, then it will be done.
2. "The Things That People Think But Do Not Say." I'm borrowing this from Jerry Maguire. The main point here is I need to say what I feel and not become a ticking time bomb (or someone else becomes one).
3. Figure out how to get onto the show "What Not To Wear." Or get a style makeover of my own minus the $1,000 budget they give on the show.
4. Don't care so much what others think of me. As long as I'm happy, then it'll be all good.
5. What happens in the past will stay in the past. The future is now! (Ok, that was a resolution filled with clichés...) This is meant for the family. There's a reason why people have them. And yeah, they may be difficult to be around, but at the end of the day, I should be grateful that I have one who cares about me.
6. Use that camera!!! Pictures can't magically be taken by itself in a bag buried underneath the table.
7. Yes, the always present "lose weight" resolution that everyone makes every year. I know I'll never be as skinny as a Brazilian supermodel, but I would like to get to a point where I am confident in myself and my physical appearance.
8. Put myself out there. I know I don't have the "everyone will be my friend" mentality, but I can slowly mill around.
9. Don't be so independent. Yes, this sounds weird, but people do want to help. If I brush someone off because I know I can do something myself, how will the other person feel?
10. Drink more water. It's good for me!

And that's it for this year's edition. I really should print out a copy and paste it next to the wall of my bed so I can see it every day. But at least it's been blogged and (if you're reading this now) read by others. No backing out now...

The end!

Ethnic Studies 1A

Story time!

I was sitting on the Spanish Steps in Rome on a sunny March afternoon people watching. I was writing in my journal when an older Italian man sat down next to me. I looked up and gave him a polite "buon giorno." He nodded then proceeded to stare at me. Then, the following conversation ensued:

Old man: Excuse me, where are you from?

Me: [smiling politely] America.

Old man: Huh? Where are you from?

Me: A-mer-i-ca.

Old man: No, no, no. WHERE ARE YOU FROM?

Me: China?

Old man: Ahhh. Your English is very good!

Me: [slightly confused] Thank you.

(And yes, I had to take a picture with this guy. His name was Giuseppe. We tried talking for an hour. He also wanted to take me out to dinner and promised me a place to stay somewhere along the Almalfi coast. I didn't take either offers.)

So, you're probably wondering now why I'm telling you this story. Here goes... I have had the chance to travel around the world. And where ever I went and get asked where I'm from, I would say about 95% of the time would look at me in disbelief after they hear my response.

While working in Japan, I received a complaint from a student saying that I wasn't a native English speaker because I didn't have blonde hair and blue eyes. So, if my black hair and small dark brown eyes don't make me an American, then what am I?

A few weeks ago, my latest adventure took me back to the motherland, a.k.a. mainland China. I honestly didn't know what to expect. I thought it would be somewhat familiar having grown up in what I thought was a traditional Chinese family within a Chinese community.

I would have to say that of all the places I've traveled to, this was the first time I ever really experienced 'culture shock.' I felt confusion, sadness, helplessness, with a sprinkling of negative stereotyping. I know, weird concept, huh? A Chinese girl shocked by the Chinese culture?! Granted, my first port of entry into the middle kingdom was Shanghai, not exactly known as the friendliest city in the world. A majority of them were rude, unwelcoming, and looked at me in disgust after they found out I couldn't speak Mandarin. Within a few days into the journey, I had already made a joke to a friend saying that after meeting the Shanghainese, I no longer wanted to be Chinese.

As I made my way around the country, the shock slowly eased, but that feeling of not belonging was always still there.

The friend I was traveling with made a comment while we were waiting for a boat to arrive. We noticed about 5-6 guys squatting (as if they were on a squatty-potty) and talking to each other. He laughed in disbelief that they were sitting like so and said they looked like monkeys. At that time, I laughed with him in agreement, mainly because I was frustrated with my cultural identity crisis. But later on, the more I thought about it, that joke he made was really an insult to the men (and to me). It's just how they sit and it's normal! I know he didn't mean it as such and I didn't tell him that I was offended (but wish I did). It just put more questions into my head as to who I really am.

And now, here I am, confused as ever. My travels around the world has opened up my eyes to all the different kinds of people that are out there, and yet, the one culture I thought I could identify the most turned out to be the most complicated of all.

So, to answer the question, who am I? I am who I am. I have black hair, brown eyes, a bit squishy in between. I am Chinese on the outside, American with some Chinese in the inside. But at the end, I'm still the same as everyone else, a human being.

Déjà vu

I went back to my old job after repatriating to say hi to my ex-boss and to drop off some Brasilian chocolate I had promised to bring back. Two weeks later, she emailed me asking if I was interested in going back to my old job. With a grim job market, I eagerly said yes. (Yes, bribery does work!)

It has been a little over 2 weeks since returning to the rat race. I'm still on the fence if I'm really enjoying what I'm doing. Working overseas is definitely more enjoyable. In the States, I have more bureaucracy to deal with. I thought I was able to run away from all of it when I left for Brasil. But in a matter of weeks, it all came back in a big hurry. It feels as if South America never really happened now except I now speak to my Brasilian boss only in Portuguese and I spend a ridiculous amount of time talking to my computer. (The computer part is the highlight of my day... I'm not crazy!)

I have no great epiphanies or even a decent conclusion to this post. All I got is a quote from Richard Iannelli, a clinical psychologist: Spontaneity is the quality of being able to do something just because you feel like it at the moment, of trusting your instincts, of taking yourself by surprise and snatching from the clutches of your well-organized routine a bit of unscheduled pleasure.

I think I need another trip to South America. =)

Confessions of a Nomad

Yes, I've been seriously slacking with the blogging... but with good reason. Since my last entry in November, things had happened. A LOT of things had happened. And with the urging of my very good friend, Glenn, here I go:

My wonderful job at CNA came to an end. While I was hired to write and give a minimum of 5 workshops, I ended up giving only one thanks to bad scheduling and broken air conditioners. I'm still waiting for my writing credit in their yet-to-be-published textbook. (I wrote about being an ESL teacher. I know, a stretch.)
	I spent December and January with a backpack smelling like old socks. I started off flying to Uruguay and parking myself on the beach, taking a boat to Argentina to tango, crossing through the Andes by bus to Chile, and sailed through the Chilean fjords on a ferry remembering how much I really disliked boats. But, the goal was to make to 'el fin de mundo'. And I would like to say to Mrs. Gonzalez, my 6th grade teacher who made me travel my imaginary road to Tierra del Fuego, I made it to the end of the world. Woohoo!
While on my little adventure, in a little city called Córdoba, I did manage to pick up something (or someone) from the Netherlands. Let's just say I definitely wasn't planning on that happening. The things you do after being kicked out of the hostel so the workers can attend Christmas mass and being slightly inebriated by fermented wheat.
	My last month in Brasil was bittersweet. I didn't get to travel as much as I was hoping due to financial constraints. (Patagonia got a bit pricey at the end!) However, I was left with a lot of time to ponder about life, the future, and how to make the perfect caipirinha.
I also managed not to go to Carnival in Rio de Janiero. Why? I couldn't justify spending $1,000 on a 4 day party/drunk-fest. Instead, I hopped on a bus with C and A some 10 hours away with only the clothes on my back and $50 BRL to my name. (It was more of bad planning on my part. Good thing C had clothes and A had money.)
	I said 'abraços e beijos' (hugs and kisses in Portuguese) to Brasil with a bit of a whimper. For the most part, I did enjoy my time in the land of rice and beans. My only regret was the failure of the ring. Sei lá...
Home is where the heart is, I guess. There's nothing like sleeping on my own feather bed wearing clothes that doesn't have holes where holes shouldn't be. And the best part, I got to drive my car. No more buses with random weird guys wiping their sweat on me!!!
	And so, only after 10 days of being in the US, I jumped on a plane to Amsterdam to see what I had picked up in Córdoba. My objectives in Holland were to see a windmill, try on wooden shoes, and eat brownies. (And for all those who are curious: Yes, I saw one from the plane and one up close. No, but saw some middle-aged guy click-clacking around in very fashionable yellow clogs. No, I didn't, but I did the next best thing. It's legal, so it was ok!) As for my big reason for me cashing in all my frequent flier miles to Europe, the future for us is definitely foggy. 9,000km of land and water doesn't help us any. Only time will tell... Or maybe a trip to China...
Now, I'm back to a semi-quasi reality in California. Mother Nature was nice enough to remind me I was back by waking me up with a 4.4 earthquake at 4:04am centered 22km away from my bed. (Sarcastic 'yay!') I'm on day 2 of job-hunting/jury duty waiting/graduate school essay writing/exercising/photo-editing.

And with that, you have now been updated. Congratulations!