Where's the Subtitle Button?

Just returned from: Glasgow, Scotland, UK
This was my first conversation at the tourist information booth in Glasgow's other airport:
Me: What's the quickest way to the city center?
TI lady: (sounds of rocks in her mouth)
Me: EH? I'm sorry. Could you repeat that again?
TI lady: (rocks) twane (more rocks) dar [I only got 'there' because she pointed.]
Me: How much is the train ticket?
TI lady: (unrecognizable sounds that might have been words)
Me: Hmmm... Ok. Thank you very much.

Another exchange with a Glaswegian at Sainsbury trying to pay for my groceries:
Cashier: (sounds of something)
Me: N [1 second pause] o
Cashier: [She hands me my sandwich and diet Coke sans plastic bag.] (more noise) [I'm pretty sure she's telling me the total.]
Me: [I look at the register but the amount is facing the lady. I give her the biggest bill in my wallet.]
Cashier: [While giving me back my change] Chiears.

If only there was a button to magically have subtitles appear.