Oh Callan, How Do I Love Thee? Let Me Count the Ways...

This is what I do 6 hours every day, 5 days a week minus the British accent:
(To save yourself from permanent damage, stop the video after one minute.)

Thank goodness for vodka.

Brazilian Etiquette: Lessons Learned

• I've kissed so many random people that it's no longer funny. (Ok, it's cheek kissing, but still... my blood still says I'm Asian and we just don't do that.)
• Brazilian time means if you're meeting someone, then you must be at least half an hour late. If it's a party, then you should always come a minimum is one hour past the start time. If someone is picking you up from the airport and you've never been to the area, is moving there for at least a year, and you can't speak the language, expect 1.5 hours of pure panic and stress.
• From my travel book: Brazilian women dress "sexy" in all situations, whether business, formal or casual. Foreign women who want to blend in should avoid wearing overly formal, conservative attire. My T-shirts and jeans are apparently too conservative here. My boss even told me to get chicken cutlets to help in certain areas.
  
• While the OK sign means good back home, here in Brazil, it is the equivanent to the middle finger. I had already shown the OK sign to my boss at least 10 times before someone finally told me what it meant.

When Will It Stop?

Currently at: Arujá, Brasil

Let's rewind to Friday...

• Friday, 08:15 - Started my final class in Kaplan. Only 5 students showed up. The two missing students had told me the day before they were going to Disneyland.
• Friday, 09:15 - Was walking to Coffee Bean since the students had decided that they were not going to learn on my last day.
• Friday, 10:30 - Two other classes strolled into Coffee Bean also deciding that they were not going to learn on my last day.
• Friday, 11:30 - Back at school waiting for the Kaplan Oscars to start (students made films... pretty cool).
• Friday, 15:30 - Still at school. The movies took a lot longer than I thought. Tried to say goodbye to everyone, but that had been an hour ago. Starving.
  
• Friday, 16:30 - Finally at home trying to pack while eating my last In-n-out cheeseburger protein style, no spread, with grilled onions. Got a message from my two missing students who went to Disneyland wants to meet up for dinner. I sigh...
  
• Friday, 20:00 - Eating at a Chinese restaurant. The owner kept speaking in Cantonese. I accidentally respond to his questions. The students no longer believe I'm a natural blonde from Estonia who was trying to be Asian.
• Friday, 22:00 - At my first and last dorm party. Watched one guy make a complete fool of himself after downing 3/4 of a bottle of vodka in one hour. Everyone was shocked to see me there.
• Friday, 23:00 - Tried to leave the party but more people kept coming and talking to me.
• Saturday, 00:30 - Still at the party.
• Saturday, 01:00 - Finally on my way home. Left with about 10 students surrounding my car. One was drunk out of his mind but was entertaining. Another started crying which weirded me out. Everyone else stood and waved.
• Saturday, 06:30 - Woke up to the smell of cigarettes. (No, I wasn't the one smoking. I was just surrounded by smokers all night long.)
• Saturday, 08:45 - Gave up packing thinking who really needs clothes?! I'm going to Brasil!
• Saturday, 10:00 - Went to my last family breakfast in a while. I told my little cousin Joshua that I was going to be on an airplane later in the day. His response: "You can die on an airplane." I told him, "Thank you for that information."
• Saturday, 11:30 - Off to the airport. Promised the family I wouldn't climb any more mountains.
• Saturday, 12:30 - Bored and started texting people just to see who would actually respond. Got a message back saying the police had stopped by the party twice that night. The party ended when the guest of honor chucked.
• Saturday, 14:30 - On the plane heading to Houston, Texas. Had to sit next to a really fat guy who kept jabbing me with his elbow. I took a picture of his fat belly while he was sleeping. (FYI, Continental Airlines still serves free food. Continental rocks!)
  
• Saturday, 21:00 - Barely found my connecting gate. Still had enough time to make my last phone call. I asked him if I go to Antarctica, would a polar bear be working at immigration? If so, would I get a paw print as my visa stamp? He laughed without a response.
• Sunday, 00:00 - In the air. Told by the flight attendant the entertainment system is broken, so no inflight movies. Continental sucks!
• Sunday, 09:45 - Woke up with serious neck pain. Looked outside to see that the plane was ready to land. A flight attendant walked by and was about to take my breakfast away that they had left for me earlier. I took my piece of bread and fruit and ate it in a minute.
• Sunday, 10:30 - Breezed through immigration, got my luggage, and was out the door in 10 minutes. However, there was nobody there to pick me up. I started to panic.
• Sunday, 11:30 - Finally found my school director. She said that immigration usually takes 2 hours. Then, she asked me if I wanted to go to a party right then.
• Sunday, 12:30 - At my school director's house. Everyone is speaking Portuguese. I'm completely lost. However, there's food and lots of it. Can't really complain.
• Sunday, 14:30 - In serious food coma. I ate enough meat to last me a week.
• Sunday, 15:30 - Still at the party but now begging to go back.
• Sunday, 17:00 - I'm in my new home and I crashed.
• Monday, 08:46 - Blogging and wondering how I can get out of my new home. I don't have keys yet. Hmm... Wish me luck?
  

I ♥ Chocolate

• 07:00: Made myself some chocolate coffee. Yummy...
• 08:20: Was given 2 Raspberry Hershey's Kisses by a co-worker.
• 08:25: A guy pulled out a box of Ferrero Rochers and offered me one. I had to take one.
  
• 08:50: Received 2 heart-shaped chocolate chip cookies made by my student.
• 09:10: Ate a piece of dark chocolate in my bag while the students worked on a word puzzle.
• 09:20: Gave out the dark chocolate for the word puzzle. Thought about eating another piece but stopped.
• 09:45: Another teacher walked into the room handing out Valentines and Kisses.
• 10:14: The student who gave me the chocolate chip cookies asked me to try her cookie. I smiled, told her I had to take care of something, then shoved the cookies in my pocket.
• 10:16: Ran into other students and ended up with a handful of chocolate.
• 10:25: The student asked me if I liked the chocolate chip cookie. I pulled a cookie out of my pocket and ate it in front of her.
• 10:30: Another student gave me a box of chocolates.
• 10:45: Attempted to give out all the chocolate on my desk. I failed.
• 11:25: Went downstairs. Was told I had to try the chocolate brought by the Brasilians. I obliged.
• 11:30: Found a table filled with ice cream, cake, and rice crispy treats.
  
• 11:45: Quickly ran to my car and drove away.
• 12:30: Arrived at 24 hour Fitness.
• 14:30: Left 24 hour Fitness.
• 15:00: Went into the kitchen to find the container of chocolate brownies I had intended to take to work sitting on the table. Opened the lid and popped a bit into my mouth.
  
• 22:00: Sold the chocolate chip cookie made by my student to my brother.
  
• 22:18: Blogged with 3 empty chocolate wrappers next to me while reading the antioxidant capacity of dark chocolate. (480mg per serving. It's just as good as eating blueberries!)
• 22:25: Debating if I should go back to 24 hour Fitness now.
  

I truly believe chocolate makers created Valentine's Day for the sole purpose of making me fat.

13 and Counting...

I know nobody is really reading this blog. And yet, I still feel obliged to write in it. Go figure.

Anywho, I've started to count down again. 13 more days. In 13 days, I'll be boarding a plane to Brasil and leaving all normalcy behind. And yet, I feel absolutely nothing. I haven't even really told anyone. I've left clues, albeit skint ones. I'm not really worried that the only Portuguese I know is "Oi!" and "Fome" (I'm hungry). (Ok, I do know something else, but no Brasilian will actually give me an exact translation.) I should be excited or at least terrified. Is there something wrong with me?